I (39M) married to my wife (35F) relationship advice

Confessions: I got married lp13 years back. Never had relationship previously, I have low self esteem and I stammer. Dint mention to my wife that I got stammering problem. I avoid social meetings as that means I have to talk to people which I avoided. So, I mantained very minimal communication. After first night I touched my wife and attempted sexual intercourse. Later in morning, I said sorry and felt guilt about what I have done.I also mentioned that one of her breasts is small and the other is big, after that I never touched her breasts or cuddled her or kissed her for almost 10 years,My sex drive was extremely low, just 2-3 a month from start of marriage. My mom's interference during earlier stages of my marriage was one of the reasons. However, after my parents moved out of home, I maintained same low libido. This resulted in my wife conceiving after 4 years of marriage and she had to take blame that shes is not pregnant due to her health issues. In fact, the main issue was me and my low libido. I dint touch her breast or gave her oral sex, never licked her as I thought she may give me cancer. In fact she never had orgasm for many years. I used to sleep off during weekends and rarely initiated sex. Whenever she asked why we are not having enough I dismissed her that we are having enough and she is unnecessarily creating problems. Even though my parents and family caused troubles and commented on my wife, I never confronted them and avoided any discussions as I thought that would be disrespectful and will cause conflicts. However, never realised how this will impact relationship with my wife. Due to my behaviour, my wife highlighted my poor intimacy. After asking , j mentioned that I am keeping intimacy with her, however I am facing performance anxiety. I also tracked her when she went to work, never took stand for her when my parents insulted her,I dint have any contact with her for almost 4 years. Back last year, I tried to get physical again and she allowed thinking to give a chance to this relationship. Start of this year, I really started enjoying sex and also made sure my wife has orgasm. However, there were few times when I lost erection, my wife gave me confidence that time. In the month of May I again was having difficulty with intimacy,i felt I don't know my self identity,Few weeks back I lost erection even though I had taken tablets. I am consulting a pyschriastric doctor for the issue for almost more than a year, I have performance anxiety for a very long time,still the issues are persisting, I'm still avoidant for sex. she mentions that my touch is not proper looks like I'm doing it forcefully. , meanwhile, we travelled to few places recently and I didn't initiate sex at all. I slept again at night and mentioned that I was feeling sleepy. My wife says that I am still the same person and needs to take treatment for my low libido. She is not satisfied with my touch or the act. What should I do?