[QCrit] Utopian Plague | Adult | Psychological/Paranormal Horror | 91k words | +300 words (Third Attempt)

They say third time is the charm, that is most definitely not true here, however I do think I have improved upon the previous ones. All new advice is welcome. Now, let's get to it.

I'm seeking representation for UTOPIAN PLAGUE, a 91,000-word multi-POV adult horror, it will appeal to fans of the ever increasing mass hysteria of The Fever by Megan Abbot and the paranormal eeriness of The Haunting of Room 904 by Erika T. Wurth.

In an isolated city surrounded by an endless forest, sustained by shamans, the utopia shatters when a corpse is discovered at the city gates. It brings into the city something that shouldn't exist—a plague.

Panic spreads along with the infected. Demut, the eldest and most respected shaman, marshals her cult followers in increasingly desperate rituals, from simply looking into the future to sacrificing those plagued, all to get assistance from Týr, the city's god.

Ebelin sees only one outcome for all of them if they stay inside the city walls: death, something he'd prefer to avoid. So he gathers like-minded citizens in an attempt to traverse the woods. The walls, however, had been erected for a reason—Týr wasn't the only god.

Meanwhile, Affra, the chief's daughter, along with the city's brightest minds, tries all she can to stop the plague's advance, but she too realizes a harsh truth: drastic measures need to be taken if the city she loves is to survive. Families get torn apart; entire streets are engulfed by flame, all to stop the plague's advance, if only for a day.

Faith, flight, and fight: each falls one after the other. In their place, mania rises, and the dead follow.

I'm from [Redacted]. I'm still a student at university, studying computer engineering. It has been stressful and the only thing that has (thankfully) kept me sane is writing and reading.

Thank you for your consideration,

[Name]

First 300

Laughter. It rings in my ears. Sleep won't come. My hand—fingers spread—strikes my head and the sound thankfully quietens. I don't remember when it started, but it's been grating, like a noise you can't quite tune out.

I went to one of the shamans a few days ago but she said there was nothing wrong. Maybe I should go again tomorrow. I try not to think about it, pressing my face into the pillow, focusing on its softness, hoping that sleep will claim me.

"Hahahaha."

My eyes snap open. Guess not. Why can't—

Cold wind hits my face. I'm outside. Standing before the city walls, stone, two meters thick, reaching for the night sky.

When did I...

My thought trails off.

The doors are open. They are never open.

Beyond them, the forest. Trees sprout from whatever ground they can. I have never seen outside the walls. No one has. The laughter grows, ringing in my ears. I strike my head like before. It doesn't stop. I turn my back to the open doors. I need to go back home. I need sleep.

My vision drowns.

Mud squelches between my toes. Branches claw overhead, swaying, reaching towards me. My mind screams at me to run. The laughter drowns it out. My eyes lock on what stands in front of me.

A statue. An imp carved from stone, its grin splitting its face ear to ear. The edges of its mouth are cracked, or rather torn, like skin peeled back too far.

My breathing stops. The laughing too. I can hear my own voice again. It's questions that arise. Why... Why...

"Why does it look like Týr?" The words fall from my mouth. "Why is it here?"

I ask all the questions except the two I should.

How did I get here? Why is the stone warm?

I don't remember reaching out.

The grin stretches wider. If it's the imp's or mine, I don't know.

Then, I begin to laugh.

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Not part of the query. I know that for a query I should keep it to one POV and focus on who drives the plot the most. The problem with that is that the one who drives the plot the most for the first third of the book is Demut, since she is the one who holds most of the sway in the city, even more so than the chief. However, for the next two thirds, she is absent, since she and the rest of the shamans die to the plague, after which Ebelin and Affra can gain the support necessary to put their own plans into motion fully.

Which means that if I make the entire query about Demut, the query would end exactly where she dies, and that makes it so that Ebelin and Afrra are thrown in out of nowhere. So if anyone has an idea on how I could focus on only one, that would be much appreciated.

As for the first 300. In the actual manuscript. It is a little longer, but I had to cut out some parts to meet the 300 word limit on here. I think I get most of it though, you have probably guessed but the beginning POV is the corpse that ends up in front of the city gates.