Just trying to understand

Even though i have been diagnosed with CPTSD for about a year, it still feels new and hard to kind of understand that I have because I think internally I am trying to pretend I am fine but you know thats everyone haha...

anyways I just wanted to know if its normal to just sometimes disassociate or just kinda drift off mentally and somehow stumble over thoughts of things of your past that like bring absolute sadness to my face suddenly and I have this urge to cry and its like when I think about those sad things that happened to me i drift off and then, i kinda feel like im back in that place, looking at myself in third pov wondering why this happened and what I could of done.