It's exhausting trying to be positive while at rock bottom

Over the last few months I've been fired, then went on a bender, landing me in jail with my first DUI, thankfully nobody was hurt.

I decided to take this as an opportunity to file for unemployment and focus on improving my physical health. Today, I noticed I don't have anymore jeans that I can wear without a belt.

I'm losing weight but it feels, too little, too late.

I'm 35 and dating someone who wants to open the relationship, I can't blame her but it doesn't make it hurt any less.

I'm just having trouble finding the silver lining in this mess. The only thing keeping me going is not wanting my family to wonder what they could've done differently or where they went wrong. Its nobody's fault but mine.