Stopped trying to logic my way through their reactions and everything clicked

Spent years thinking if I just explained things clearly enough to my brother, he would see reason. Turns out that's not how this works.

Had another blowup last week over something minor. Did my usual thing where I calmly walked through what actually happened. Provided evidence. Stayed rational. Made it so much worse. I was treating it like a misunderstanding that could be fixed with facts. But the facts didn't matter. They were having an emotional reaction and my logic just made them feel invalidated.

Finally realized you can't reason someone out of a feeling they didn't reason themselves into. Trying just puts you in this exhausting loop where you're defending reality itself. Now when it happens I just stop engaging. Not as punishment, just because no amount of explaining works in that moment. Their brain is telling them a story and nothing I say will rewrite it.

Weirdly freeing to stop trying. All that energy I spent crafting perfect responses, gathering proof, staying calm while being accused of insane shit. For nothing. Still figuring out what to do with this. But at least I'm not beating my head against the wall anymore.