Please genuinely help TW (S H)

IM NOT SAYING IM GOING TO H@RM MYSELF BUT Can someone PLEASE give me recommendations of bl@des because since ive been doing it with screwdrivers, dull ass kn!ves, those cheap shavers and pencil sharpeners and i rlly need a r@zor blade but idk where to get one without my mum seeing the payment and im scared (please dont flag this its my only coping mechanism)