Am I overreacting?

So, for context, my partner and I grew up in the same city and have been together since high school. We moved across the country a few years ago.

My MIL has a thing about Christmas. Our first year living in the new city, they really wanted us to come visit. Fine, no problem.

But issues started popping up last year when we said we were going to stay here for Christmas. She decided to invite herself to come to our city instead. Unfortunately, my grandfather passed away very suddenly about a month before their trip so we went home and saw them. This was a huge deal for me and my family. It was really traumatic and difficult. What irks me is that his entire family treated it like we were there just to visit with them. They kept scheduling dinners and lunches and basically ignored the fact that we were going for viewings and a funeral. But because they saw us close enough to Christmas, they didn’t come for a visit.

This year, we’re planning to see them for Christmas. His mom sent us a text telling us that she booked us for a bunch of visits with different family members without even asking us. Like I literally wouldn’t have had time to see my family apart from maybe a morning visit once. We said no and booked time with my family in addition to a few family events with them.

She’s started planning for next Christmas. Convinced our SIL to have her wedding around Christmas and said to us “well, that way we’ll all have time off and you can spend Christmas with us again!”. Firstly, I’m working until the 23rd next year and was already told I probably won’t be able to get the time off and, second, I don’t really love the way she said that.

Am I overreacting?