Should I try to find out who my biological father is or leave it alone ?

Hi everybody ! So I know this seems like a bit of a silly question- and one that’s pretty much just my decision to make- but I was mostly looking for opinions on what other people might do if they were in my situation.

For context, I (F19) am the result of a one night stand. My mother actually didn’t even know if it was that or some other people she had seen in the same timeframe, but after 2 separate DNA tests and then just growing up and knowing who they might be, we figured it was probably the only one she didn’t know the name of. I want to state that this has never truly bothered me, and I have never had any negative’s involved in not having a father. I grew up with plenty of male figures in my life and have always been loved very much by my mom and siblings.

My mom also doesn’t have any info on her maternal family, and after spending some time being curious, I decided to take an Ancestry DNA test when I turned 17. I spent about a week straight on it when I got the results but didn’t get any close relations, and while I was able to connect a couple of my matches indicating 4th cousins and such with each other, I hit a blank. I left things alone until last summer when I made a spur of the moment decision and submitted myself to a dna angels search. I don’t know if I really expected them to answer honestly (which I know is silly) and so I panicked over it for about a week before ignoring it. About a month later they sent another email and I ignored that one too, but spent some time thinking about it. Just today I received another email asking if I was ready to start the search, and that brings me to here.

As it is now, there’s no pain or hurt involved. Nobody left me, or wasn’t a good parent to me, I just don’t have one. If I do end up finding him, what if I regret it ? What if something goes wrong ? Maybe he won’t like me or I won’t like him, or it’ll end up being complicated and bring issues into my life. On the other hand, what if it ends up being good ? And would it be selfish for possibly not giving him the chance to know he has a daughter as well ? I know these are all things I won’t know until I do, and that this is a decision that I have to figure out for myself, but I just wanted to get some other viewpoints while I thought it over. Thank you !!

Posted Dec 10, 2025, 2:57 AM UTC

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