looks like my brain doesn't want success and i give up

May saying na "most people dont fear failure they fear success". It makes sense. Pagod na ako sumubok kung ayaw naman talaga ng utak ko. Nakaka stress yung alam mong gusto mo subukan, kaya mo naman alarin pero ayaw ng utak mo. Neuroscience say our brain is programmed for survival and it doesn't want pain. Tamad ba ako? Hindi naman I've tried skills im interested nakailan na ako, im just basic at most. I keep trying. Mostly i stayed consistent for a month then drop. So napansin ko sa utak ko na ayaw nya talaga. Pag may bago akong gagawin all i see is risk. Ilang interview and client na diko tinuloy kasi may nagbubulong sa utak ko na pano pag nakuha ka di mo kaya, paano pag palpak ka? Diko na itutuloy. Hanggang di na talaga ako nag aral ng bagong skill o hobby. Pano ko alam na ayaw ng utak ko? You have no idea how many times i opened my laptop and just stare at it and not move. tas wala akong willing gawin mag hanap ng bagong work or gawin yung dapat gawin. Pag pinilit ko give me 5-10 mins and i will fall asleep. I can't focus on one task i constantly jitter and stand up. Sobra ako mag procrastinate kaya ko mag general cleaning nalang just to avoid that. Mas gusto ko pa tumunganga kesa mag take action. One time i cried because of how frustrated I am with myself. Wtf is wrong with me? Wtf is wrong with this brain. Akala ko may potential ako .. mukhang wala naman pala