I hated my wedding day and feel like I can't talk to anyone about it

Hi everyone I've been married for 3 months and the more people ask me the more I just avoid trying to talk about my wedding day. Don't get me wrong I love my husband and being married to him but everything and anything that could go wrong that day went wrong and my dreams were shattered

For some back story we payed everything ourselves no help from family except for a gift from his dad to have a live band that day. It took a year of planning to get exactly what we wanted and finding all the right people only to have the venue start with problem mid way. They started not answering phone calls the owner kept having family member hurt or die left and right and kept reassuring us that everything would be amazing. The venue was beautiful and it was like a dream come true for us. Everyone had opinions on how we should do it and we tried so hard to put our foot down about what we wanted and someone how they still won so I was already frustrated about that.

The venue never let us talk to any of the vendors contracted through them to reassure everyone was on the same page it was all red flags everywhere and we knew but chose to go ahead because we had already payed in full. We hoped everything would go fine. Week of the wedding venue is AWOL not answering telling us they will not decorate or start to do anything till we bring things that needed to be given to bar or for the rememberance table we said please start before we don't care but they didn't listen. The Venue coordinator/owner sent her husband to grab things from us 2 days before and nothing was started.

Come to say of the wedding... I have to start getting ready at 6am with my mother, mother in law, sister and law, and aunt. My makeup/ hair artist was late. There was support to be 3 of them working on us only 2 showed up and they didn't want to tell me till day of not to stress. Yea that didn't help. My dress didn't fit.. I told the ladies that altered it that I was losing so much weight n they refused to take it in more so I struggled all day with it. My family called me 30minutes before I was supper to walk down the aisle (all extended family ) that they wouldn't not be attending my wedding no reason why just that they couldn't so I had no family but my parents one brother (middle brother didn't show up until later at night for a few hours) and my aunt and uncle that were my godparents and a cousin. I invited over 20 extended family member mind you. I was already not feeling great but that crushed me. My bouquets that I made for my bridesmaids and me died on me and where nothing what I imagined but I made them with so much love.. we were an hour behind schedule and I didn't get to do my reveal with my parents and give them thanks like I wanted too.

The only good part of the wedding was getting married our priest knows both my husband and I on a personal level so he made me and him feel like at home. It was a beautiful ceremony and it started out so sour for me but by the end I was focused on my husband and he was a hot mess crying and just soaking in every moment in that church alongside me all I ever wanted with my partner in crime forever.

We get out of church and I start crying because of all the things that have already happened and he tries to make it better and just help me enjoy our night as much as he can so we get to the venue. No one is answering our phone calls mind you they told us to cal them before we get there. We walk in 30min before our reception starts and they are still decorating no biggie they should be done by 4 we take pictures and I start to look around for reals because we are on a schedule. Things are missing. The sangria pitcher that we had brought no where to be seen, hand written letters that should have been at the tables for guest to read, our rememberance table for our loved ones no where to be found, the appetizers weren't out yet it was already 4:20 one after another things are popping up and our grand entrance is at 4:45. We try and find our day of coordinator and no where to be found. Once we find her she tells us your program is yours I have nothing to do with it. Just tell me when things go on? Ummm no you are suppose to be in charge we give her the list of things that are missing fine whatever we do our entrance the DJ had the wrong Song and didn't read any of the instructions that I sent the owner for the time line I'm upset but my husband is trying to fix everything without letting guest notice. Food was pushed back because our time line had to be pushed back and even then it was late not set up at all. Dj didn't know what he was doing hired through the venue. Banda gets here they don't know we were suppose to do our first dance with them and say they were never told great. My husband fixes that. Again no owner to be found. Banda was the only good thing of that night beside our photographer he became my wedding planner Coordinator shoulder to cry on.

The more that night went on I felt like we just kept having to fix problems after problems. The cops where called and almost shut down the whole thing. I got sick because we hadn't ate all day dealing with this ladies job. Her and her husband / staff were dressed like they were lounging at her house and followed us around getting in the way of our photographer all night I snapped at our cake tasting. Our desserts nothing what we ordered. Good cold and small portions. I honestly don't know what this lady was thinking but she was never present...then the worst this I will say is the only other part I felt let down my husbands friends and family got excited and kept offering him drinks and shots and what not more to the point he got wheeled out in an ambulance. I got yelled at by my Mother in laws before leaving as to why I let him get like that and I didn't do anything he did he's a grown adult he knew better. I spent my wedding night in the ER in my very white heavy dress with his bestfriend and cousins by my side making sure he was fine after a day I do no feel like I enjoyed. He has seriously apologized for that day for his activism and I beleive him even tho the damage is done

We got our deposit back from that horrible place which they still to this day believe they did the best job possible but I'm my heart I will never get that day back and now I can't even look at my wedding pictures. If I even mention it family about that day they just tell me to let it go it is what it is and atlest the wedding was beautiful. But am I wrong that even tho it been 2 months I stills don't feel like that was my wedding day? I love him and he has been nothing but amazing but I hate talking about my wedding day all the effort to just not even enjoy it.. I know when I tell him I didn't enjoy it it hurts him because he loved marrying me regardless of what happened but am I wrong for my feelings?...