Ain't sure what's happening

Hi all, So this is an odd one. Firstly it involves me M 26 and my ex F 22.

To give some background we broken up on Friday 5th with her doing it. This was due to the last few months we'd been arguing over small things due to heightened stress in both our lives and our general mental health being shit. F is from the US and had moved to the UK in Sept to be with me.

Anyway since that breakup things got really dark for me as it joined the many other stressor in my life that made me decide to try and take my own life on Saturday. This failed and I'm still among the living(And getting the help i need).Monday afternoon we talked and I started my need for non-contact for 2 months minimum when she's back in the US next week whilst I heal and process my feelings and i stated there is a chance after that i may not be able to be just friends which upset her a little bit she said she understood and agreeded.

But on Monday she came into my room crying, saying I scared her which is understable due to what I had attempted a few days before. She then proceeded to talk about how this didn't need to be the end of the relationship permanently and started crying and hugging me. I explained the need for the non contact and listen to her conversation which involved lots of her taking about the good parts of the relationship and saying we both needed to work on ourselves and our mental health, I agreed.

Then on Tuesday she was crying a lot again, and constantly wanted to be near me, and kept wanting to hang out and hug me. She proceeded to then later talk about she was scared the nocontact period would never end because I couldn't be just her friend. And she was scared about never getting to talk to me or see me again. I told her that if my brain decides that if I can be friends with her sadly that would be the end of our communication which she accepted and seemed sad about. She also keeps asking to play games with me and do things with me.

I'm honestly going though a lot of emotional whiplash and fuck I do still care a shit ton about her and definitely still love her. I just don't know what to make of all of this. No matter what I think we need the no contact period so we can heal and so I cam work my shut out. But at this point I don't know what she wants and I don't think she knows.

Could anyone possibly give any advice or input. Because if there is a chance if reigniting the relationship later down the line I don't want to close the door on it.

Thanks all.