I fucked up everything in my life because of anime

I basically fucked up everything because of anime, and I have no idea how to fix what I broke. My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, devoted, loving, supportive, and she’s always given our relationship her all. Things were great, until I fucked it up in the stupidest way possible.

During the pandemic, I got into anime. At first it was harmless, but then I got obsessed. I was ashamed of it for some reason, so I hid it from her. I never talked about it, never gave her any hint that I was watching it. Instead, I made this account where I browsed anime, manga, hentai, porn, whatever. If you looked at this account, you’d see how bad it got. I was writing analysis, simping over characters, basically being a full on weeb, borderline incel territory. Maybe it was the culture, maybe I was shitposting, I don’t even know.

Long story short, she eventually found out. And to make everything worse, she found out while we’re doing long distance. Seeing her reaction, nasampal ako ng katotohanan. It made me realize how messed up it all was and how creepy I had been acting. Diring diri ako sa sarili ko.

I immediately cut off anime completely. Stopped everything the moment she confronted me. But the damage was already done. I can’t even explain to myself why I let it get that bad for four years. I wish I could reverse everything. Now she’s angry, rightfully, asking me questions I don’t have answers for. I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know where to begin fixing this.