Coming from a toxic family

I don't like myself anymore ..i hate everything abt me ..my father was the redest flag ..he used to be an alcoholic..used to beat my mother ..was the redest person alive ..I used to never talk to him ..15 yrs of my life and I have cried every fucking day ...now that he is clean since 2018 ..still his personality is same ...never respects any women around him ..I am 22 yr old ..still studying ..I want to leave my house ..be on my feet asap ...my mother never supported me in anything I did ...it feels like I have been living in a jail...its breaking me everyday