Which would be smarter going for full custody or partial custody?

Location: Columbus, Ohio

Hello everybody, I want to start off by saying thank you for taking the time to read this. Also, thank you if you leave me any advice!

I’ll start off by giving you the backstory.

In April 2021, I went to rehab for an opioid addiction that had lasted about a year. Not that I’m trying to give you my sob story but I had my daughter in early 2019 and had a lot of complications during her birth. For the next two years I have a lot of issues that resulted in me not being able to stand for a long period of time or being able to sit for a long period of time. I went to several different doctors and a couple different specialists and nobody had anything that they could do to help and just told me the extreme shooting pain would go away overtime. It didn’t. Eventually, I had a “friend“ through my child’s father who gave me a Percocet and it changed my life. I was finally able to go through my day without any pain and I had the energy to get everything done that was needed from me. The problem was I became a functioning addict.

I went to rehab because I realized that there was a problem and while I was gone, I had my daughter stay with her grandmother on her dad side. While I was in rehab, her father and a friend of mine had gotten high and my friend overdosed. Thankfully, she was resuscitated, but the damage was already done. Due to the ambulance showing up CPS had to open the case because a child have lived in the home, even though she was not there. After getting out of rehab, I found out about everything and CPS advised me to give temporary custody to the grandmother and then they closed the case. I realize now after the fact, the reason why they did that was so that way they had one less case that they had to handle.

After I got out of rehab, I tried to make things work for my child, but I ended up leaving her father and the home that we bought together. I moved around for a bit just trying to get my standing before I eventually moved in with the grandmother so I could be closer to my daughter. I moved in with the grandmother January 1st of 2023. I found out later that she should’ve reported this to the court, and she did not. Our original court documents state i live with the child’s father and that the grandmother is to report if we move.

In the time that Ive lived with her, I tried to do everything to win over her graces. I worked a steady job, I did everything for my daughter, and I really tried to turn my life around. I also go to therapy and get drug tested monthly for a shot to keep me off drugs. Spent the past two years, trying to get the approval that I have only recently found out I will never receive.

Over the past year, I’ve tried to have several discussions with her about me moving out and every single time her only response was no. That that is not what she wants and she would not allow it. The problem is I am 33 years old and im being treated like a child. For a long time I did everything I possibly could to win her approval and it never worked. So I decided that it was about time that I moved on. I’ve been saving money for the past six months and I finally got approved for my apartment that I’ll be moving into January 1st of 2026.

I had some suspicion at the beginning of this year that it was going to go this way so I went to an attorney to get free advice. They told me that I should collect evidence on my behalf and that I should record all conversations that I have with the grandmother regarding moving out or the child’s general care. In my state, private conversations are legal to be recorded as long as I am a part of the conversation. So I followed the lawyers advice, and this is what I have: – I have documented a daily schedule starting in May 2025 of everything that I do for the child. ( I wake her up and put her to bed. I do all of her general cleanliness routine, such as bathing, helping her brush her teeth, doing her hair, and getting her dressed. I take her to and from school every day. I also take her out to activities on the weekend and sometimes throughout the week. As well as providing or cooking all of her meals.) – I have kept a receipt/bank statements that show everything that I provide for her from daily necessities to school supplies. – I have recordings of all of our conversation about me moving out, and which she verbally attacked me and my character. Saying I can’t afford to take care of her and that buying her clothes from the thrift store is basically neglect and buying her school supplies doesn’t mean anything because it’s only like $20 (it was closer to $120). – I have recordings of her and her husband screaming and cussing in the home at the dogs for leaving a mess at 5 am, waking my child up. (This is important because they always say they are Christian’s and her husband is a deacon at a church and that’s why they are better people than everyone else). – I have a photographs of the state of the house (messes the untrained dog constantly leave on the floor, counter space constantly filled up with junk as well as the kitchen table and just general filth that I clean up, take a picture of, and it goes back to the same state the next day, in which I also take a picture.

• I also have her on recording and admitting that she cannot do anything for the child like taking her to and from school or getting her ready for school. She can’t get her to go to sleep without my help. She can’t get her to take a bath or brush her hair. She can’t do anything without my assistance. And that if I move out, I’m going to have to be there all the time in order to help her with these things even though she has full custody.

Recently there was a fight in the family, in which the father of my child told me that I should be ashamed of living with his mother, even though he provides no help whatsoever, and she was supposed to fill that gap for me, according to her own words. He stated Im not apart of the family so I should just move one. And even though I was already in the process of getting an apartment, I decided around this time to tell them that I would be moving out. I have had a few conversations with her, which I recorded them all, to where she tells me that my child would have been better off if I never came back into her Life. She said to me, but looking at my child, “did you even tell “child’s name” that you’re abandoning her again?”. And just general awful things that you shouldn’t say in front of a six-year-old. I also recorded her saying that she never had intended on handing custody back over no matter how well me or her father do. There is so much more, but I’m trying to keep this short for the sake that it’s already going to be long.

I want to do the best thing for my child and that is what I’m trying to do by getting my own place. But since she had found out that I am moving out, she has decided that she will not let my child come to my apartment whatsoever. That if she does allow her to come to my apartment that I will have to drop a drug test first. Which I told her I have no issues with doing if it makes her feel more comfortable. My issue with this is the fact that her father’s girlfriend just got caught hiding a cocaine and alcohol addiction and she does not require her a drug test before the child is allowed to go to her dad’s house where the girlfriend lives.

She’s decided that as a punishment for me moving out that my daughter is no longer allowed around my boyfriend ive been with for a year, who my daughter loves. She has it in her mind that I am only moving out so that way my boyfriend can be around my daughter, which is not true whatsoever. She stopped allowing my daughter to go to his house as a punishment for not letting their dogs out ONE night while they were on vacation and I was attending a wedding that was planned before the vacation was planned.

The thing is, this woman has extreme issues with control, and she will admit that herself. She also had a daughter when she was 15 that she left with an aunt who took custody and refused to give it back. Instead of fighting for her daughter back, she went and had two more children And raised them with her husband. Part of me feels like she is doing this in order to right the wrong in her life that was made all those years ago when she decided to leave her daughter behind. But that is beside the point.

My question to you find folks is:

When I go to the courts to get custody, should I go for full custody right off the bat? Or should I go for partial custody and work my way up?

Her dad does not help provide anything and if anything, I have to buy groceries and send clothes to his house every time that he has her over on the weekends. If I was to get custody, if full, should I proceed with going after her father for child support? Since he has not helped with really anything her whole life, as after she was born I was the only one who worked while his mom would often have to watch our child while I worked because he couldn’t handle it. Her father also has a girlfriend that he moved in with three kids and he helps pay for her and her kids while they live in the house that has my name on it. At some point, I will also have to go to the courts to have the house sold, but that will be after the fact. I’m generally a very nice person and I let people walk all over me so I feel bad doing this, but at the same time he gets to live in a nice comfy house that I help provide with his girlfriend while casting doubt and shame upon me. So I only feel it’s right to force the house to be sold so I don’t have to struggle that so much while he doesn’t struggle whatsoever because everything is provided for him.

I just don’t know how I should handle this. Im scared I haven’t done enough for my past to be overlooked even though I’ve found religion myself and turned my life around. So what do you all suggest I do from a legal standpoint?