has anyone else felt this?:(

I have grown feelings for a friend/roommate and I guess she feels the same but isn’t wanting to act on it currently because she has more important things she has to focus on in life, such as school and other personal stuff. I was laying in bed tonight and she cuddled up behind me and held me. it felt so nice, and I never felt held like that. but after a few minutes I told her I wanted to not cuddle further. I said I didn’t want to get used to that kinda thing with her. it hurts because I really love it and it feels good but I genuinely cannot allow myself to get used to it. she understood, which was good, but she mentioned wishing I could enjoy it in the moment. I wish I could, and I want all sorts of affection with her, but it isn’t gonna happen.