To buy or not to buy - need to take that difficult decision

Hello everyone,

I need advice or the experience of those who have been in a similar situation, because I am currently feeling completely confused and torn by very conflicting emotions.

Since September 2024, I have been leasing a mare (while my gelding was resting due to laminitis). The mare is young—7 years old. She’s fierce , but her gaits are stunning. Her canter is especially smooth and feels like riding on a sofa. Over this past year, I have developed a bond with her, and she's become more manageable—she has stopped biting on the ground, she's affectionate, and has calmed down significantly. She has a fantastic natural jump with plenty of scope—no hesitation or doubts before the jumps. In general, since around the summer of this year, I've started considering buying her—my gelding is older (18 years old), and we are only doing light work together. With the mare, I could start thinking about jumping and progressing further. Before I started discussing the price directly with the barn (because prior to this, my trainer found out they are asking quite a bit), I decided to have an examination done. To be honest, it was mostly just a formality.

And the vet shocked me (I’m including part of the report below): -Diagnostic imagine- Right fore fetlock joint- basilar abaxial non-articular fracture of the proximal lateral sesamoid bone. Left fore fetlock- small osteophyte on the sesamoid bone. Grade 1 changes on the distal border of the navicular bone in booth hooves. LH tarsus slight joint space narrowing in the tarso metatarsal joint. -Ultrasonography: Suspensory ligament lateral branch attachment with findings of enthesious fragmentation and dystrophic mineralization and changes.

I consulted with two more vets: one said I better not buy her. The other said it’s quite a common injury in horses and given that it’s well compensated (and the mare has completed two 40 km endurance and one 80 km endurance races without any lameness), the option is very good. With proper shoeing, moderate workload, and periodic check-ups, everything should be fine.

And I'm confused. On one hand, I don’t plan to participate in competitions or jump over one meter. I might not even jump at all. Considering that horses are essentially 1,500-pound hamsters with suicidal tendencies, this could happen at any moment. On the other hand, I'm afraid that this could suddenly become a cause of permanent lameness, and then I wouldn't know what to do (I live in a country where there’s no option to send the mare to a farm just to graze and live out her days peacefully — I would still have to pay for her boarding at the stable, plus vet bills, etc.).

The first day after I received the news, I was like, “No, I won’t take her.” But now, I keep remembering her face and her eyes — it makes me want to cry.

P.S. Just leasing her is not an option as I have moved my boy to other stable with better conditions and it’s unbelievable difficult to do 2 stables a week as they are very far from each other.

I would appreciate any advice and experience. I can also provide a full report and images.