AIO that my dad's behavior might be toxic/abusive?

I (13 F) moving with my mother (50) to live in a small town since my parents are separated and I wanted to live with my mum over my dad (was 48 recently turned 49) for specific reasons, I'll present them in this post. When I told my dad he was calm a collected and didn't respond emotionally. However he later came into my room and said if I were to go with my mum would have to sell the house, have a job there, be there with me (I was planning to live with my older sister till my mum could do the following) or else he'd sue. I thought it was kinda whatever it could have been worse because around the time he had excused me of smoking pot with my mum (I never did.) So I was worried he might make that accusation again when I told him I was going with my mum. However he started checking my eyes and breath when I left my mum's room. He also said he can smell the smoke and it happened to be before I would walk into her room. He then said "You know you're just hiding someething. You're protecting her but I don't know why." One time he sat me down and said he was gonna call the police (never did.) this slowly went away with time. Before this I had came out to my dad as aroace and he said that it's not real. He also said it might be harmful to me and that people online are lying or that he's never heard of it. Before that I told him I was autistic (diagnosed) and he denied it and said "you're fine." Or "You're not autistic." One night when I was talking to him about my therapy sessions for autism he said "So you go there to avoid school work." And one time in a minimal argument he said "Don't disrespect me! Is that what they teach you in therapy!?" When I was younger I cried a lot and he would get angry everytime I cried and he would now if I cried in front of him now. He also at some point said he would kill himself if I wasn't there for him. This made me very uncomfortable. One time I tried to tell him I didn't want to talk to him until he changed hqo he treated me and he refused and said he'll never change and that he'll talk to me whenever he wants. He has also told me in the past he would try and change. I'm scared to tell him I'm Hellenist (he's an atheist) because he doesn't seem to like things he doesn't know already. I remember one time that he said 'Do you want me to drive off a bridge and kill us!?" when both of us were in car because I was talking to him (I was around 5 to 7 from my memory.) I know this all sounds a bit off (or maybe not) but he's opened up to me about his past (many people in his life died) and I feel guilty for thinking that because he's had it worse than me. I also have so many moments with him that I enjoyed. I don't really know if I'm overthinking or not. (Sorry if I offend anyone with a toxic/abusive parent/s.)