I worry I'm an ass because I want simple things from a "partner", not necessarily the emotions associated.

I loved very deeply with a lot of emotion and ultimately ended up being hurt. I'm good. After that happened, people told me I needed to learn to love myself and being alone. After some deep digging, I actually think I enjoy being alone. That's not what's causing me to be lonely.

I think I really just want someone to hold close at night, having someone to hug, the smell that another person had been there, someone nice to look at, someone to occasionally run their fingers through my hair. I've found the attachment, bonding, etc. nearly always ends tragically and I don't really have much of a need for it anyway. But I still have that human need to be physically close to another human.

I know people don't do that and aren't like that, but it's just what I have noticed I need/prefer. I just feel like an ass because it's all so shallow at the end of the day.