Overunderwhelmed

First time posting here. I’m a FTM at 33 weeks currently with a very unplanned pregnancy. For the most part, I have had a physically uncomplicated experience so far aside from a few fainting spells in my first trimester. The last few weeks have felt like I just got hit by a truck- mentally and physically I feel like all the pent up fear and uncertainty and a little resentment are all unleashing themselves.

Currently I am working full-time with overtime (healthcare industry) to try and save up for maternity leave. I spend 10 hours a day giving all my energy to my patients and by the time I get home all I want to do is cry and go to sleep. The fatigue, swelling, and back pain is horrendous and I only rest 1-2 hours per night. On the weekends I spend time cleaning or running around for errands mostly. I feel as though I can’t fully rely on my bf even though he is very emotionally supportive, it frustrates me that he has spent months being content with his lack of employment and NOW that it is crunch time he wants to start looking for a job- I feel like he’s going to abandon me alone at home with the baby during the brief 12 weeks I will be able to take (I say brief bc I had hoped for more- I know I am lucky to have any mat leave at all and not trying to be insensitive so please don’t come after me).

I don’t even know what kind of advice I am looking for at the moment, “Rant” may be more apt I suppose, but any tidbits of wisdom are welcome…