I [20M] confessed to a girl [21F], she said she’s not ready for a relationship, and now I’m stuck between overthinking, insecurity, and trying not to chase her. Need advice.

So… long story short, there’s this girl I really like. We’re not together, but we were definitely flirting for weeks. She used to flirt back, be excited, reply fast, all that. Then I confessed I like her, and she said:

Cool. I respected it. But after that, her energy changed. Not rude, not distant, just… slower replies, more casual, less flirty. She still talks to other guys, and she never denied it. We’re “best friends” on Snapchat but I know I’m not the only one she talks to.

I used to be really happy and fun with her before I caught feelings. Now I overthink everything.
When she replies late, I feel ignored.
When she talks to other people, I get insecure.
When she’s offline, I think she’s with someone else.
Basically, I turned into the anxious version of myself and I hate it.

Recently, she ignored a message for hours but replied instantly to her friend (I literally checked). That made me really mad and hurt, so I stopped doing the everything-first texting. No more good morning from me, but I reply when she sends hers. I match her energy 100%.

The last few days, I’ve been:

• replying slower
• ending conversations first
• not being so excited
• not chasing
• not double-texting
• not starting convos

And honestly? She reacted to it. Today she sent me three red hearts out of nowhere, and I kept it calm and just replied with a single ❣️

But now I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing.
I don’t want to be rude or toxic.
I don’t want to play games.
But I also don’t want to be the guy waiting on her phone while she talks to other dudes.

So the real questions:

• Am I doing the right thing by matching her energy?
• How do I stop being scared she’ll lose feelings or like someone else?
• How do I act normal again without smothering her?
• And if she asks why I’m “different,” what do I even say?

Any advice from people who’ve been through this would help a lot. I hate feeling like I’m losing myself over someone who isn’t even mine.

*For honestly, Chatgpt used for language issues, but this is the exact real story... I hope you understand*