I want to keep my maiden name and I know my BF and soon to be fiancé will not like it.

My family is all girls, with no one to carry on the family name. I don’t want it to die with my father, and it is objectively better than his. It is a part of my identity, and it’s not fair his family name gets to live on and mine does not. Yeah, I get it life’s not fair but this is important to me.

I’m traditional and religious, so knowing I wanted to keep it took deep reflection. He’s going to to upset and he’ll hate the thought of it. He is the youngest of his brothers and I know he’ll never take my name. He’ll be upset by even considering our children take my name. This is the only thing we really disagree on. We’ve discussed it briefly and it remained brief because it is a rough topic. His family name can live on through his brothers and this is a priority for me. Not sure how to explain this to him, he’d feel offended, disrespected and threatened. I don’t think it’s his fault, he was raised traditionally.

I’ve always been independent. I’m currently the bread winner, but I will not be once he finishes schooling. We’ve discussed my fear of having children, this mainly stems from the body horror that comes with it. If I have to put my body in the line why shouldn’t the kids take my name? This tradition is inherently sexist to me and a taboo topic among our friends and family.