Am I burnt out from casual sex or am is it just going to take longer to get over my ex?

25F.

I’ve had a fairly positive sex experience for a female growing up in the Bible Belt. Besides the awkward teenage years, and a few assholes, I’ve always been pretty confident with what I liked. From 16-21 I practiced safe sex, easily brushed off the Christian guilt and slut shaming, and had various “vanilla” experiences that ranged from drunken one night stands to sensual passionate sex with short-term boyfriends. I enjoyed it all and thought I was so lucky to be one of the few to not really need anything specific to enjoy myself. I know what I like, I know what I don’t, and I know what else I still want to try.

And then I met my boyfriend of (now ex) three years.

It was like from the first time we hooked up, this emotional connection I’ve never experienced was there. I mean yes I’ve had butterflies before and loved some of my past partners, but it wasn’t like this we never had bad sex. It was always passionate and sensual, even when it was boring or hot or after a fight or silly. It was GOOD sex. Like our bodies were a perfect fit. We never tried anything kinky and I never even brought up my list of things to try because I think what we were doing was like playing with fire? Didn’t wanna mess it up.

Anyway. We broke up. Nothing crazy. Just really sad, right person, wrong time, different paths in life breakup.

Well it’s been about five months, and recently I decided to try it again and I can’t do it!! It’s not like I’m hung up on my ex emotionally obviously it would’ve been ideal if things worked out but the breakup was necessary. But one night stands? Went to the bar and just immediately no. Tried to calling up an old fling and ended up leaving his house after we made out because I just couldn’t get turned on. Tried dating apps for a few days and just meh. I tried to force an emotional connection with a guy after talking and seeing each other for a few weeks (I told him what I was looking for I’m not an asshole) thinking that might do the trick and finally got excited enough to have sex, it was fine and I didn’t feel uncomfortable or anything it just felt like a letdown. I just have NO desire to have sex with anyone. Not even my ex necessarily, I just miss the feeling. I’m horny and masturbating but it’s obviously not the same. Don’t even have the desire to fulfill my kink list.

Do we think casual sex is just not my thing anymore? I miss being fun and spontaneous but it’s just not doing it for me. I don’t want to get into a relationship for a long time and I also don’t want to force myself to have mid-sex with multiple people trying to chase a feeling that’s not guaranteed. Someone help.