My ass urge has made me restless

I(24m) keep fantasising about being taken by rough hands that would spank my plump cheeks and finger my tight hole. The other day, I told my male friend(30m) my secret that I kept for years because I wanted to get that burden off my chest but he used it against me and started threatening me to reveal it. I was convinced to keep it in return he would use my ass. I'm not going into the details but it was unforgettable as he gave amazing ass play. Now I feel my ass is getting a bit bubbly even though it's small. Whenever I'm horny I squeeze my cheeks as they are so soft. I wonder if that's a normal thing to feel or act that way and I'm scared that there aren't women out there who don't mind being with a man like me !!