Broken Cup

You and I are a broken cup, and when we meet those shards attempt to join.\ Yet it feels like I am betraying a part of myself when we attempt to become whole again.
The pieces come together awkwardly, and don't fit as though they once may have.
It feels reminiscent of a time that I can barely reach.
Like trying to contain the smoke of a fire, convinced that this time it will stay
I feel confident that this time is different, right up until I meet your eyes.\

I haven't seen you in a long time, so at first we are awkward and unsure.\ After a few drinks, forgetting becomes all too easy.
We slip back to the way we were, without regard for how we might feel tomorrow.
We fill the air with laughter, teasing, and joking, a careful facade.
But behind all of that is the reality of what we actually are.
Alas when we wake up, the regret quietly builds, like the embers of a bonfire.\

And in those moments, the betrayal and despair I experience inside is immeasurable
How can I get angry at you when I am the one who opened the door?
I am disappointed in myself for still being in love, and you for knowing how to pull me back.
Me for having hope, and you for taking what hope offers.
But assuredly I will still persist in making this mistake, again and again,
And you will let me.