I (46F) am unsure if I should visit long time friends (46F 46F)
I’m wanting advice. I have 2 friends who I have known since we were all in our early 20s and we are now in our 40s, I will call them Bea and Jane.
We used to be fairly close- go out to dinner regularly, have “girls night”, study together etc. I moved away from our hometown but stayed in contact with Bea- always saw her when I visited, attended each other’s weddings, phone calls, messages, she visited where I lived a couple of times. Jane and I drifted apart, though 3 years ago she reached out of the blue saying she was visiting where I lived. We had lunch, it was pleasant but we never messaged or called after.
Last year when I visited Bea she suggested we catch up with Jane. It was really nice, however at the end Jane mentioned she was visiting Chris later that week. Chris was my partner for almost two years in my 20s who was horribly abusive- cheating, love bombing, manipulative, controlling, physically hurtful etc. Jane knew this at the time, but honestly wasn’t the most supportive person to me.
I have not been in touch with Jane since then and I didn’t raise my concerns with Bea at all. I am going to visit my hometown in January and Bea is keen for the three of us to catch up again.
Can anyone advise how to proceed with them both?
Posted Dec 13, 2025, 10:31 AM UTC