How i can stop running my relationship with a ldr girl that i really care and love

I’m trying to understand myself better.

I got close to someone who means a lot to me. The connection felt special, but my own insecurities caused a lot of problems:

imagining worst-case scenarios

checking for signs of losing her

getting jealous fast

asking for reassurance

breaking things off impulsively

apologizing later

feeling sick when she went silent

I know these aren’t healthy reactions. But now I’m working on becoming calmer, more secure, and less reactive.

The person I’m attached to has her own walls too. She’s kind, but guarded. She doesn’t block me, still talks to me, still calls, still shares things. But she also pulls back sometimes, and that hits my anxiety.

I don’t want to lose her, but I don’t want to repeat the same cycle either

my questions is:

How do you train yourself to not panic when someone goes quiet?

How do you rebuild trust after a push-pull cycle?

What habits actually build emotional security?

How do you stay connected while giving space?

How do you stop overthinking every message, silence, and mood shift?

People who healed their attachment style, how long did it take and what helped you the most?