Idk ig I will be feeling the weight of being alone again...

I have always had an longingness for an elder sister and mainly for live and care and someone to be there for me throughout my life i had no one like that much i didn't had any frnds in shcl nor in life who are so caring but in the search of finding frnds in online I did found alot of shitty people and all but one frnd who been there for me all the time she would msg me correctly when I am low she msgs daily Asking how I am truly she's been there for me always she made me feel loved and cared she is the only one who can be my elder sister she is the only one for me whom i always felt proud to. Have her in my life she doesn't know how much she helped me she is an baka sometimes too i can't imagine a life without her msgs and her spelling mistakes she doesn't know how immensely she improved my life i we both are being for each other everytime but i don't think this society can take an frnds as an frnds why tf can't I have an girl as my best friend she is the only one that makes me feel loved and cared i wish she had been my blood sister i would have cared for her more and more i would have always bought her noodles i would have been happy with her! But now smts are happening which might lead to end of this bond idk if it is with her likingness I can take it easily but how can I take easily it when someone i think of as my world mjght be not be able to have contact with me anymore my elder sister might not be able to talk me anymore incase that happened idk what I can do or to do idk if I could form that bond with another human or being idk if anyone would understand me i don't have the energy to form an bond again i am fed up with searching for love and care but i will give all my love and care for her till anything like that happen I wish we would be two ducks in a pond in our next life my dear ......!