We exchanged our things and now it's done.

7 year relationship. Broke up (he left) in July. We were looking at houses to buy together, but I could tell he was silently changing his mind and getting apprehensive about things in the last year we were together.

I picked out an apartment in his neighborhood because we thought that would be a good "next step." My landlord is a friend of his. I tokd him I was nervous to move because I couldn't do it on my own and I would need his help. I expressed I was worried he wouldn't help me. He assured me he would help me and he would ask his son to help too and it would all be just fine. Said he'd make sure I had an air conditioner and he'd help install it. Asked me to get a joint credit card with him for our future travel plans and opened a joint Costco membership with me to show he was serious about us making next steps in life together. We rescued a dog together, I signed the lease, pit in my 60-day notice at current apartment and then he dumped me and disappeared.

We were out on a date the day he ended things and then that was that. No conversation or explanation. Just "I'm uncomfortable in this relationship and I can't make you happy", dropped me off with the gift he bought me that day and didn't talk to me again (other than texts here and there regarding logistics).

He decided to travel for four months and just came back to town. We exchanged our things last night. His apartment was exactly as it was before. All of our photos together still on his walls, my toiletries and personal items hadn't been touched or moved. I had organized and boxed up his things. But he expected me to go through his apartment myself and gather up my items while he stood there and watched.

He talked non-stop about his travels and his life. Never asked me anything about me or my life or how I'm doing. I've lost 30 pounds. I moved by myself in my little 2-door car. It was hell. It was absolute hell and I can't believe I didn't lose my job or that I survived this.

Said he was relieved to "get rid of all this stuff." I have come so far, but tonight really set me back. Just confirmation that the 7 years we spent together meant nothing to him while I cherished them as building my future and partnership with him.

All of the friends and family we shared and loved together- gone. The dog is his (he gave her to his ex wife). His son who I built a connection with and cared about and wanted to share a future with -gone.

He talked to me like I was nothing tonight. Just bragging about his travels and finally, "I'll maybe reach out and we can grab a drink sometime." Didn't even consider that maybe I'd never ever want to grab a drink with him ever again. Worded in a way that made him look like the owner of everyone's time and like I'm a child who might be honored by an invite from him "maybe", "sometime", in the future should he choose it.

I am literally sick. Haven't touched a cigarette in 10 years, but smoked half a pack tonight. I feel like a pile of nothing.