New low

Tonight I drank a bottle of shit ass wine. Like so bad that the flavor made me vomit. And I’m a chronic malt liquor drinker.

Anyways, the wine made me barf so I dumped some out and topped it off with orange juice. And I diced up some fresh apples, pineapples and oranges and stuffed them down into the bottle.

Finished the bottle, only had a weak shitty buzz, so I decided to bust it open and eat the fruit. Wine bottles are surprisingly resilient.

Took that puppy out to the garage and hit it gently (at first) on the neck with a monkey wrench. No result. Repeated about 15 times and suddenly boom powdered dangerous glass shards everywhere.

So I sweep it all up carefully so the dogs won’t step on it. I love the dogs more than I love myself. Finally, access to the fruit.

I start eating the fruit and it’s dank as fuck and suddenly notice I’m chewing on glass. I had briefly checked the fruit for glass but must have missed this shard. So I spit it out carefully, dispose of it and continue munching on my yummy booze fruit.

Then I’m like “why does this taste like toothpaste?” Forgot I had a Zyn in and chewed and swallowed it.

Borrowed $4 from a very loved friend and bought 2 earthquakes. Promised to just drink 1 tonight but almost done with the second.

When earthquakes taste better than wine, you know wine fucking sucks. Anyways thinking about chugging water and eating some soup but probably won’t.