A letter to me

I feel like I’ve been letting a lot of people down the last 5 years. I’m so tired with myself. Honestly I think it’s not about blaming the disorder but really I should be blaming myself for letting this continue to happen. I think I’m at a point where I can say I do hate myself. And yeah if someone wrote a post like this you’re damm right I would comment and tell them they should be gentler with themselves. Yes I can be nice to others and not to myself. The difference being I’m just a fucking moron because I’m a fucking hypocrite. So yeah I’ll always be kind to others. But no I will not show myself that same kindness.

What have I done to deserve kindness exactly? To see myself in this oh so jolly light? The only thing I have to say to me is fuck you. What I’d like to do is take this disorder and myself and drag both of us straight to hell. So yeah this is my letter to myself you fucking prick. And if you’ve ever seen me in comments before well I’m very sorry you came across this post. How I present myself to others is obviously not the same man here. It’s called hiding our inner devils. So yeah sorry the secret me isn’t the nice guy my stupid username says it is.

So no I’m not going to say fuck the ED. I’m not going to take the piss and blame the ED. What I should be doing is blaming you, you dumb fuck. Have fun sitting at 120lbs you fucking twig. You call yourself a man? You can cut some other dude’s dick off and they’d still be twice the man you are with your dick retained. What exactly are you looking to do with this frail body? To fight, to lift, to protect? Oh boy if the police force was replaced with 100 of you the city would be up in fucking flames. No seriously, fuck you.