AITJ for telling my family I just couldn’t emotionally support someone right now

Last week a close family member was going through a pretty rough time, nothing dramatic or urgent, but still heavy emotionally. Everyone in my family kinda defaulted to me being the one who would handle it. Sit with them, listen for hours, send check in texts, be reassuring, basically play the emotional support role like I usually do. I’ve done this for years and no one even really asks anymore, it’s just expected.

The problem is that lately I’ve been completely worn down myself. Work has been stressful for months, I haven’t been sleeping well, and most days I feel like I’m just going through the motions. I’ve been feeling anxious and irritable, and honestly some days it’s a struggle to even keep my own mood in check. I didn’t really tell anyone this because I didn’t want to make it a whole thing. So when they asked me to be more present and supportive, I didn’t explode or get defensive. I tried to be calm and honest and said something like “I do care, but I don’t have the emotional energy right now to properly support someone else.” I thought that was the responsible thing to say instead of pretending I was fine and half assing it. I figured it would be better to step back than be resentful or checked out.

That did not go over well. I was told I was being selfish, cold, and that family doesn’t get to take breaks from each other. Someone even said that I was making everything about myself. After that the mood completely shifted, people got quiet, and a few relatives have been distant with me since. Now I keep replaying it in my head wondering if I should of just sucked it up and done what everyone expected, even if it meant burning myself out more.

I didn’t say I don’t care or that I’d never help, just that I couldn’t take on more emotional weight at that exact moment. Still, it feels like I failed some unspoken test everyone else knew about. So yeah, am I the jerk here?