MIL cannot respect boundaries AIO?

So my partner (M26) and I (F25) got married in January. I am currently 7 months pregnant. He comes from a very controlling and emotionally manipulative matriarchal household. When he was younger his mother beat him a lot and kept tabs until he was mid twenties. She also has a weird enmeshement with my husband in particular (he is the oldest son). His siblings have told me how he’s the different one in the family and he’s held to a standard, whatever that means. His mother initially disapproved of me as his wife as she had somebody else in mind for him to get married to (we are Middle Eastern) for context, MIL has had several fits (not all are included!) which has really affected my relationship with her:

1. December 2024 when husband told her we won’t be living with her after the wedding. He was firm and she had a complete breakdown on the phone screaming and crying.

2. January 2025 wedding time when I decided my style of headdress. She kept calling during the photoshoot and my husband picked up until I said enough and then when she came onto the wedding stage she refused to acknowledge either of us. Did not even say hello or look at us. She proceeded to tell my mother how she was horrified with my choice as that’s just not what a bride does in our culture. 3)April 2025 she told me I don’t know why he doesn’t call as often, you don’t get married and just forget to call your mother. I stayed quiet during this as I genuinely didn’t know what to say - super awkward

3. She then had a fit in June when I didn’t call her every other day and we went away for a few days without saying bye and telling the family. I explained that’s not how I work and that we see her every weekend so there’s no need for a check in. She confronted me in her room and said it’s only my job to call her not the other way around and raised her voice at me and got extremely unstable. I held my own in a respectful manner and said you can always call me. My mother calls my husband when she wants to speak to him. My husband was in the next room and said nothing at the time. He merely came in when she got very loud. He later on called her and told her it’s not acceptable to speak to me that way. She has not spoken like that to me since. Also please note: Stupidly, both of us (to calm her down) gave her some info to suppress her emotions after this incident. She wanted to know about our plans and dates and how much rent we would pay During this, she calmed down but made sure to tell me she’s she reason I got to be his wife..

4. She had a massive fight with my husband in August about him not telling her how much he makes at his new job (he had multiple times she just kept asking) they have fallen on hard times recently financially. He said unfortunately he wouldn’t be able to help out. He then decided to go NC from August until November. We moved to another state end of August and so we didn’t see her. Once we returned back to visit Washington (where his family live) it was extremely tense in the house and she basically ignored him and I. During this time I really tried to speak to her. His sister tried to speak to me and said how his mother is ‘extremely depressed’ because he’s not speaking to her and how he’s her favourite and if I could do something - I said I’m not getting involved. A few days later, MIL informed my husband (via his sibling) she’d like to talk to him and he forgave her as he always does. I noticed that he still craves her validation even though he says he doesn’t. As expected, once my husband and her started talking again she became super chummy with me. He placed a boundary of calling once a week rather than every other day. This somehow included me too (as she was annoyed I don’t call her, when I did every 3/4 weeks during NC with my husband she didn’t pick up) again, this is not something I wanted to be a part of but I thought fine I’ll do it..

It’s been 3 weeks of contact back on and I noticed that my husband doesn’t take her calls at home (he does work a lot). I also noticed that, she sent him a picture of a parking meter during the day whilst he was at work, called him and he immediately did it for her. Bear in mind she has other children she could’v asked and I’m sure has been when they were NC. This worries me as his behaviour may be allowing her to be dependant on him. This was on Monday. Then yesterday she asked him to fix the insurance policy and again, he immediately did it. It isn’t about the tasks it’s about their prior history and how she seeks control and puts responsibility and pressure on him as the ‘oldest’. Also this is violating the once a week boundary as she calls whenever she pleases. My husband also mentioned to methat his father wasn’t emotionally available and that his mother deserved better the other day - which is a stark difference to him saying how he resents her and she’s emotionally abusive and a narcissist. One of his first conversations with her after NC was him telling her she deserved better. She has also confided in him about a new business venture but said she won’t involve his dad and my husband agreed and said it’s for the best. This rubbed me the wrong way as she’s confiding in him as her emotional partner (just as she would when my husband was younger) . AIO Or is this my husband slipping back into his old people pleasing patterns with her again? Any advice on how to handle this? My husband has really come a long way and he’s the best husband in every other sense. It’s just his relationship with his manipulative mother that’s making me anxious.