first time finishing the main questline (spoiler !!!)

i played oblivion a bit in high school (2016ish) but never finished it because my xbox broke. but it was on sale on steam the other week so i bought it to try again!

tonight, i completed the main storyline for the first time ever and i can't sleep because i'm too busy crying over martin's sacrifice.

martin's fate being to die in order to save the world—dying for the greater good. and it had to be him, there was no one else who could die in his place. just PAIN.

but then, to add to my heartache, i was unable to save jeoffre and baurus at the battle for bruma because i leveled too high by the time i got there and it hit me that my character is just all alone. she has no one to share in her grief or mourn for her lost friends and i think that's what's hitting so hard is that no one around her could understand what she's feeling. oblivion gate after oblivion gate, having the weight of the world on her shoulders, sharing that burden with martin and having jeoffre and baurus' support. but after its all over, she's alone. and every character she meets afterwards is just hyping up the event and awestruck by it which feels even more cruel for her to have to experience. it's SO sad to me. just all around tragic.

i loved oblivion when i played (what little of it) it for the first time and i love it even more now. its soooo well done.

just needed to get this off my chest so maybe i can fall asleep 🥹 ty for reading