AITA for refusing to take a temporary Demotion so my boyfriend can pursue his dream career across the country?

I (30F) have been dating my boyfriend, Leo (33M), for six years. We live in a major coastal city and have established, high paying careers here. I am a Senior Marketing Director at a stable tech company, making great money, and I'm on track for an Executive promotion in the next 11months. Leo is a mid level manager in finance. Leo has always dreamed of working in a renewable energy policy, but his current job is not related. A small, prestigious non profit in a low cost of living city 1,500 miles away, offered him a junior research associate role. It's a huge pay cut about 40% less than he currently makes and a step down in seniority, but it's his dream field. Leo wants us to move. If we move, I would have to quit my job. I immediately started researching equivalent roles in the new city. The market is terrible there for senior tech roles, there are very few openings, and the pay is much lower. The only job I was offered was a temporary, six month Contract Coordinator role a massive step back from my Director position. It pays about 50% of my current salary, and it would derail my promotion track entirely. Leo was insisting that the move is temporary he hopes to find a remote role eventually and that my career is more flexible. He said ,It's only six months, and then you can find something better. We can live off your contract salary and my non profit salary. My career needs this springboard right now. Your job is more established, so you can afford this pause. This is my one chance to break into my dream field. I told Leo absolutely not. I said I spent years working toward this level of seniority and salary, and I refuse to throw away my career stability and future promotion just to support his pay cut passion project move. I said he should either pursue the role solo and we can manage a long distance relationship for a year, or he should stay here and pivot his career locally. Leo got upset. He accused me of being unsupportive, and prioritizing money over his happiness. He said that any loving partner would make this sacrifice for a six month period to help their partner achieve their life long goal. He says the fact that I won't move shows I don't truly value our future together. AITA for refusing to take a career demotion and massive pay cut to move across the country so my boyfriend can pursue his dream job?

Posted Dec 13, 2025, 10:43 AM UTC · locked

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