Is this emotional affair? (Two straight woman)

I’m a single woman, and recently I developed a very close “friendship” with another woman who has been in a committed relationship for five years. Both of us have always identified as straight. Initially, our bond was purely platonic, but over time, it has deepened in ways I didn’t anticipate. We currently live together as housemates, along with her boyfriend.

Our relationship has developed an intimate dimension and I find our sexual interaction profoundly compelling, even though I’ve always considered myself straight. This has made me question the boundaries of sexual identity and exploration, is it necessarily about sexual orientation, or can it be about connection?

Her history adds another layer of complexity. She has cheated once before in her relationship, which she deeply regretted. However, she insists that what we share now is not “cheating” in the traditional sense because she experiences our connection as something deeper than sex… something unique, transformative, and emotionally significant.

Currently, we are separated for months due to work commitments, but our communication remains consistent and intimate. She continues to express affection, send nudes, and articulate a deep sense of love and attachment. I am deeply “in love” with her as well, yet I have no desire for a traditional romantic relationship with her or to disrupt her existing relationship.

I find myself at a crossroads. This situation is unconventional, to say the least, and raises ethical, emotional, and existential questions:

Is this truly an emotional affair, or is it something distinct that defies conventional labels?

How do I reconcile my feelings of love and attachment with the desire not to destabilize her committed relationship?

Can intimacy exist outside traditional notions of romantic or sexual identity without causing harm?

Am I engaging in self-exploration, or am I complicit in a form of betrayal?

I’m curious how others have navigated these gray areas of emotional and physical intimacy, particularly when it challenges assumptions about sexuality, morality, and relational boundaries. Any perspectives or similar experiences would be deeply appreciated.