I 27NB need help with 21F

Seeking help cutting relationship off. For back story, I met her online and have been speaking a lot for the past few weeks. We got close very quickly, and I mean quickly, as in within 5 days of meeting we had begun making plans to meet as we're only one state apart. We have chatted almost everyday for 7+ hours through voice and video calls. But as I had established I was wanting to get to know her more before I visited we always kept asking more about eachother, opening up about our pasts (trauma dumping lol). During one conversation I learned that we have such extensively different views on the topic of gender/identity and her views honestly disgusted me as it goes against my identity. I'm non-binary, amab, and very masculine presenting, so I very much look like the man I was born as, a man is apparently what she only sees me as.
So basically I got the ick and was ready to break things off tonight, until I found out a close friend off hers took their own life. I need advice on how to end things with her without hurting her too much. I also have gotten quite close to her friends and would like to remain friends with everyone. The timing is just awful and I don't want her to become emotionally relaint on me as she's processing the passing of her friend. Especially since it may just lead her on more.

Do I just rip off the bandaid and end it as soon as I can? What's a good way to word it all so as to not end any friendships?

I feel stuck as I really enjoy talking to her and her friends, but am unwilling to pursue the relationship further.