8 months broken up. 3 months no contact. Still thinking about her

Hey everyone. I’m not sure if it’s normal.. I’ve been with my ex a short time. And it’s been 8 months since we split. 3 no contact.

I see her every where. I don’t know how else to move on.. I don’t want to date anyone at the moment.. yea she was toxic. It wouldn’t have gotten better.. but I fantasize about a future where we still were together..

I’m ashamed to admit it.. but I don’t know who else to turn to. I wish things were different: and that she wasn’t afflicted so badly. I’m tired of thinking about it all, just keeps replaying.