Picking up the pieces again...

Another job didn't work out.

Failed probation. Reasons provided were that I was constantly late (agreed but I always worked late, I didn't not return any clients calls, and I got my shit done - in an environment where my direct manager consistently said "as long as you get the work done we don't care", and recently had an official change to my work hours to start and finish later to help with my health issues that cause me to be late). And apparently 2 clients complained about my tone on phone calls. Both were rude, arrogant men who picked a fight over nothing.

And....

I can recognise that these are fatal mistakes i should not be making as an experienced lawyer if I want to remain employed.

I have made a lot of progress in so many things, and not enough in the areas where my BPD keeps fucking with my career.

I've finally got into a new psychologist and now I'm going to have to cancel because how the fuck am I going to pay for it?

I have CPTSD, BPD and am slowly realising I am also autistic as well as having ADHD. The latter 2 disorders - not diagnosed. That requires money and life organisation i just dont have at present.

To be told you're done in this job 1 day before I'm due to go on leave for Christmas.... fucking hell. I am so angry. And sad. And hurt. And frustrated at myself.