Why are friendships so hard

I crave the affection of people who I find interesting or people who don’t pay attention to me (I can’t stand people disliking me so it makes them seem different in my eyes). However, it feels that every-time I do get their attention or affection in the end I just grow too accustomed to it and then it’s suddenly not exciting anymore. This is damaging my friendships as I keep eventually pulling away from others but it hurts hating to feel lonely then isolating myself in the first place. But maintaining friendships I don’t find interesting feel like torturous chores.