What patterns emerge around grandparent access, when scapegoats have children?

My mom is a narcissist. It took years for me to recognize it and finally accept the reality. Now that I have my own child, I'm seeing my mom's narcissism creep in when she's with my baby. She doesn't seem to really listen to what my daughter says, and she'll "kindly" ask what my daughter wants to play, but then always shut it down until my daughter pick the one my Nmom wants. That is super fructrating. Have you noticed similar patterns once you have children? How do you deal with it? I really don't want my daughter to relive what I had gone through.