Telling my family about my partner

Hello! I’ve been with my partner for around 2 years. My immediate family knows about them and that they are trans. My immediate family, while being conservative and not very accepting has been trying their best to learn which has been a struggle in itself. But my extended family has no idea, doesn’t even know that I’m in a relationship. My extended family is worse. Like way worse. My parents request I don’t tell them anything. They don’t want me posting about my partner, or telling my extended family I’m in a relationship. Obviously this has caused some issues in my relationship. My partner is tired of feeling hidden which is completely fair, and I’m tired of hiding them. I guess I’m just unsure of what to do or how to go about this. I’m not even sure if this is the best place to come to for advice. We’re both in therapy and actively trying to find a solution. But I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask for opinions of those who may have been in similar situations, especially those who have felt how my partner has felt. The last thing I want is for my partner to feel hidden, I’m not concerned about what my extended family will think, maybe slightly that they’ll remove me from their lives but I’ve been coming to terms with that, as my relationship with my partner is more important. More so I’m scared they might try to hurt us, or my immediate family. I’m also frightened my immediate family will be upset with me for not following what they requested. I’m over the age of 18, but they do provide support and at the end of the day they’re my family and I do love them even if they’re not even close to perfect. Any form of advice would be great, just so unsure of how to go about this.