I've lost all hope

32M. This has been one of the worst years ever. Towards the end I actually thought it was going to end on a good note. Like always though, it didn't happen and I am destroyed. I don't know why I bother. I've had to pick myself back up so many times and I just don't have the energy anymore.

I've begun to write a note. Next I just need to figure out when, and then whether I want to try and live it up with a trip or just drive to a secluded place and do it. I can't do this anymore.