Hey There,

I don’t know why you’re still in my head. It’s annoying. I’ll be at peace & then somethin small brings you back. A random thought... a memory that doesn’t even matter. & suddenly youre there... like its completely appropriate to envision you. Im not trying to get you back...im not waiting. Unfortunately, im just… stuck with the fact that you mattered more than I planned for.

What sucks is how normal it feels...like thinkin 'bout you is just part of my day now...not dramatic...not romantic. Just there... lingering. I hate that I still wonder how youre doing!? If youre happy...content even!?

& then the inappropriate thought...if you ever miss me the way I miss you... not in a “lets fix this” way...but in that reckless, childlike..inconvenient way that catches you off guard but...makes you feel alive & on fire.

Everyone says time fixes things...perhaps it does....but right now it just teaches me how to carry this without letting it show.

I don’t reach out because I know better. Cuz Ive learned the difference between wantin someone & knowin theyre not coming back. That realization hurts in a really borin...everyday way. I wish I could say I’m past it...clearly I’m not!

I’m just functioning....& honestly? It blows that you still feel like home...when I know I don’t live there anymore.

Thats all!

I just needed to say it somewhere.

—Me