I’m not doing well as of recently

It’s been 51 weeks since the breakup, meaning a week from today makes it a year since the breakup. Honestly, I’m not sure how much better I’m doing. I’m still living through it. We had our first kiss on December 26 and I thought we were going somewhere. For 9 days she avoided me when I asked to see her again and then she broke up with me. She yelled at me and made me feel like I never mattered. Christmas Eve I had a not so enjoyable crying session, honestly I’ve cried for a few minutes now as well. I’ve tried to improve my life by getting into the gym a lot more, focusing on my studies, and figuring out how to enjoy my life and grow myself. I feel like a month ago I was in a better place than I am now. I guess I forgot to mention that we only dated for 3.5 months and this was my first relationship. Really just felt like venting where I’m at now. I don’t really know what to do with myself.