I’m a married woman with a crush on my coworker.

Throwaway account for obvious reasons. I (25F) have been with my husband Ben (25M) for 5 years. We have had a pretty healthy relationship, argue seldomly, travel together, and have the most incredible 1 year old son together. I am also very close with my husband’s family, with his two sisters being the closest friends that I have. All has been well until very recently.

About 4 months ago I met my coworker, Adam (25M), for the first time. I initially wasn’t attracted to Adam or thought much of him other than that he seemed like a nice guy. With it being the holiday season and both Adam and I working for an event company, we have had more shifts together recently and have been becoming friends. The more I learn about Adam the more infatuated I become. Him and I share a lot of the same interests, such as movies, music, art, have a similar world view etc., all the same things my husband has zero interest in. Adam has expressed that his girlfriend of 8 years has no interest in those things either.

I find myself checking the calendar to see if my next shift is with Adam, and intentionally trying to look prettier if our shifts align. At work, any chance I get I go and talk to Adam. I’m embarrassed to say I’m obsessed with him. I told him I used to have my bellybutton pierced and he said that was cute and I about died. He also asked me recently if I wanted to hang out outside of work and I said yes without thinking. The good thing is he wants to hang out with me and his girlfriend for a board game night, so I don’t think he’s flirting.

I really just want to be friends with Adam but I can’t help that he makes my heart flutter. I don’t want to lose my relationship with my husband who doesn’t deserve this one bit, I want to stay a family for the sake of our son, and I want to stay friends with Ben’s family. How do I stop myself from falling for this guy? My heart is telling me I’m supposed to be with Adam but my brain is telling me to stay with my family and let this crush pass.