What is wrong with me exactly?

For a while now I haven’t felt really anything emotionally. Even when traumatic things happen to me (or at least disturbing) I may look like I’m emotionally responding, but inside I don’t really feel any way about it. For example, one day I was driving home from work and out of nowhere a cat rushes onto the road. I obviously started to press the breaks, but by the time I did I had already hit the cat. I would assume that most people would at least feel really bad and maybe cry a little, but I just kept driving hardly thinking about what happened. The thing is I grew up loving cats and would do anything just to be able to pet them and hear them purr which is why I find it odd I don’t care about hitting that cat. One of the more drastic things I did was a few days ago. I was with my brother watching him because my parents were out and I had some sort of episode (I think) and burned every baby picture my parents had of me. Even the one of my mom crying as she held me in her arms right after my birth. And yet I still felt nothing, I don’t even regret what I did I just see it as something that happened. I’ve been told that what I’m experiencing is apathy or anhedonia, but I’m unsure as to if what is wrong with me could be labeled like that. No matter what I try nothing has much if any effect whether it’s meditation, medication, tms, and etc. I feel like something that makes my situation worse is that no matter how close I am to someone I never open up, but that’s also because I don’t have any friends right now. Not that having friends would help as any “bond” I have with anyone doesn’t feel genuine to me even though I know it’s something I want more than anything. I just can’t allow myself that because I know that despite this absence of emotions I still fear being abandoned or hurt again.