1st Time Father Seeking Advice

Not sure if this fits here granted it ties much more into marriage than parenthood but I’m feeling the two are inseparable in these early stages. My wife and I just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary and our son is turning 3 early next year (2026). I am full time remote while she is a full time grad student though she’s recently started looking for a source of income in either a part time or full time role. Since we’re both home 100% of the time and operating off essentially one income, we cannot ideally afford any form of child care so we are with our son sun up to sun down every single day of the week - none of our parents are really in a position to be babysitters plus my wife isn’t truly comfortable with that idea (I would say I’m probably not either).

Currently, we are operating off one vehicle (I lost mines a couple years back) so any desired individual time takes a bit more planning on top of the normal planning needed around a toddler. We do our best to give each other 1.5-2 hours of individual time though not daily and it doesn’t help we still haven’t gotten our son fully adjusted to a sleep schedule so while we’ve seen improvements in getting him to bed before 9:30pm in the past month he still has his 11pm-1am nights and then it seems the later the start time the less sleep for the night. Not having a consistent routine, has made it extremely difficult for us to build in our own plans (I.e. gym time, intimacy, leisure, personal errands, etc.). I’m praying this changes the sooner our son gets into preschool and then of course regular schooling but it seems sometimes so far away. We are still trying to find time to properly potty train him as well as transition him out of both our bed and bedroom (my wife is a bit more patient with this idea than myself).

In the rawest form, I love my wife and I love my son - I thank God for them both each day and to continue to cover them along with faith my wife and I can push through these rough seasons and keep our marriage healthy and joyful above everything, but there are days I believe it will not work due to our battles. A lot of it I believe comes from sleep deprivation due to our son’s sporadic sleep schedule, financial woes, and the battles that come from stress/overstimulation. What annoys me most is her constant request for grace in situations that were flipped she wouldn’t DARE just move past. She can take up a lot the mental/emotional space at times and there’s always a reason whether it’s overstimulation or her PMDD which I feel impacts her a good 10-14 days out of the month.

Additionally, I’ve lacked severely in my friendships the past 3 years given my heavy commitment to being a present/active dad, attempting to be a supportive husband, and mainly work outside of that so I’m craving that male fellowship especially with other men going through marriage and fatherhood, but I don’t make the time to due to parent guilt. I’m not sure what answer(s) I’m looking for here I think I’m just in a space where I’m truly struggling trying to keep my faith strong and my family in tact under one roof.