Acceptance

9 months out from my most painful breakup at 33 years old.

I've panicked, I've cried, I've sought healing through therapy and soul searching. I've dated, I've travelled, made new friends.

I'm only just now knocking on the door of accepting that its over. Everything i've done in these 9 months was to run away, fill time, or convince myself I'm moving on.

I can't believe how much I think about her, after dragging this guilt around for so long blaming myself for everything that went wrong between us. It stings a little less each time but the ache is the same.

I've entered a period now where I'm simply not attracted to anyone else. In a way thats freeing. Finally ready to focus on myself, not on everything that's wrong with me - but in getting the things I want.