Is it possible to be straight and a lesbian in the same time?

Hi, I'm not sure if any of this will make sense but please hear me out. I have always liked women, the way they speak, walk, act and of course, how they look always seemed attractive and desirable to me, both romantically and sexually. The same can't be said about men. I don't find anything attractive about them, whether inside or out. I have always found their touch repelling and just thinking about a future with a man makes me disgusted. Because of that many may think I'm simply gay, but it's so much more complicated, or maybe I'm just overthinking. The thing is, while I would probably rather die then spend even one night with a man I find heterosexual pornography arousing and can't quite reach the same high with It's homosexual equivalent. It comes to a point where I sometimes can't masturbate to lesbian content. So it's like I'm straight only when gooning but gay in real life. Is it normal? I have never heard about such an issue please help.