AIO if I don’t want to visit home anymore?

I’ll try my best to be brief. My parents were divorced when i was very young.

Lived with my mom during the week, saw my dad on the weekends. Dad remarried, I have a step mom, step brother and half brother.

I started drinking and using drugs at 13, my mom moved and eventually died from cirrhosis. I got kicked out of two high schools and eventually my dad and step mom’s house. I got sober through programs and moved to a halfway house in Boston at 18.

I’m 35 now and sober 15+ years. I live in NYC and usually go back to MA to visit for the holidays. My dad and step mom have always been heavy drinkers and it’s only gotten worse as they’ve gotten older. I like seeing my brothers but step mom and dad are in a sad state. Step mom doesn’t leave the house, starts drinking beer at 7-8am and is generally miserable. They will occasionally go on cruises or to the casino so they’re not completely home bound.

In the 17 years since they kicked me out, they have never come to visit me, in Boston or NYC. Only my step brother has. My step mom and dad are always saying how excited they are to see me but actually don’t care to know about my life or see what I’ve done/accomplished.

I went up for the holidays again this year and it didn’t make me feel good. I don’t want to go home anymore and I have so much guilt around it. I feel bad that my brothers have to deal with them as they get older (they’re 68 and 69 but alcohol has aged them more)

Am I overreacting? Should I suck it up and deal with the toxic environment they’ve imprisoned themselves in because they refuse to leave the house? Should I not expect more from them being parents? Does it not matter anymore?

TLDR: parents have never visited me in 17 years and I don’t want to keep visiting them.